Server Trouble
You may have noticed I haven't updated in quite a while. It's a long story. I was having server problems. Since it's all a bit complicated, I decided to make a diagram to explain why you have been deprived of my genius "work".
It's starts out with my website. Everything seemed normal. That is, until I tried to update it. No matter what I did, nothing changed. It made me a bit irrascible. I discovered the server was all messed up and wouldn't work again for months.
I tried another server. I decided to go with a Servatron Server, I saw one at the Web-Type-Server-Things-R-Us store. It was expensive, but I wanted something easy to use and with great functionality. No matter what I did it wouldn't complete updates either. I discovered that Web-Type-Server-Things-R-Us is owned by Halliburton. I called and said I wanted a refund. Then they said they couldn't find my money anywhere. They commented I should have been more careful when I contracted with them.
Then I found a server that seemed super high-tech. I had never seen anything like it, it was amazing. The problem: I couldn't even figure out how to upload files. Apparently, it was too high-tech for me. I soon learned it wasn't a server at all. It was actually an alien doomsday machine that fell from outer space. I think I got it shut off. I'm not saying the apocalypse is coming, but don't plant fruit trees-if you know what I mean.
Then things started getting wierd. It seems the Goddess Hera thought Zeus was using my website to meet girls and fornicate with them. She threatened to do all sorts of horrible things to me. Then she realized the site she was thinking of was Myspace.
She felt bad for inconviencing me and for turning my kneecaps into undying scorpions of doom. She tried to make it up to me by giving me Bubo, the owl from Clash of the Titans. Luckily, Bubo is very skilled in HTML, XHTML, CSS, PHP, NRA, and DDT. Thanks to Bubo we're up and running again.
The moral of the story is: crappy servers, Halliburton, Alien Doomsday Devices, and jealous Goddesses are bad. People with low morals and loose virtue use Myspace to fornicate. And the Toys of the Gods are really useful.